Navigating a Multiracial Marriage: An Interview with Andrea and Jairus Justus

By AACC Editorial Team

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n this month’s Reclaim series, AACC is highlighting the diversity of Mixed AAPI Christian experiences, including the unique challenges faced by Mixed individuals and families as well as the beauty they bring to the Church. Today, we hear from Andrea and Jairus Justus about how the Lord has worked in and through their multiracial marriage.

To begin, how would you describe your racial/ethnic backgrounds? 

Jairus: My parents are both Indian (born and raised), and I was born in Dubai, UAE. We lived there until I was around eight, and then we moved to Minnesota where I grew up. I would consider myself American, but I also understand and appreciate Indian culture. 

Andrea: I am White and would say I'm culturally American and ethnically European. I'm fourth/fifth generation American but grew up aware of the different origins of my family, particularly Scottish and Swedish. 

As you started your relationship, did you have other models of mixed families, especially in church spaces? How have you blended each of your cultural experiences together within your own family? 

Andrea: Creating a unique mix of our lives was actually hard in a lot of ways. Most of my friends are either single or met their spouse in college or at church camp, which meant they shared a lot of friends and shared experiences. When Jairus and I met, we were both living very independent lives and so I was hungry for any advice the few couples I knew in similar situations could give us.

Blending cultures in a family can be as simple as choosing culturally specific flowers at a wedding or baking grandma's recipes or wearing certain clothes. I love getting to join Jairus' family traditions and hearing the things he appreciates about Indian culture, because I love learning about him and creating our unique family together.

Jairus: A lot of my family is interracial, which was helpful in seeing what challenges they went through and how they blended cultures together. At church, this was more rare, but there were a few couples that we could relate to in terms of the differences in our upbringings and how these differences may affect our reactions to each other. 

How has Scripture shaped your understanding of faithful witness as a mixed family? How have your cultural experiences given you new insights into passages that might have seemed more foreign to you? 

Jairus: When I was growing up, my parents absolutely wanted me to marry an Indian girl. It took me a while to see in the Bible that Jesus loves us all equally and cared for people regardless of their race or background. We are encouraged to have that same love, and it took me time to realize that it’s okay to feel attraction to someone who may not understand everything that I've been through culturally — It's just an opportunity to share my culture with someone else in a new way. 

Andrea: Appreciating diverse perspectives in my personal life has allowed me to see more perspectives in the Bible. One example is that in Jairus' family it’s not common to wear much jewelry because his grandparents wanted to be faithful to God when they converted to Christianity and to stand out from a culture that wasn't widely Christian. On the other hand, my family doesn’t give wearing jewelry a second thought, so it's been interesting to look at Bible verses about wearing jewelry and ask questions like, “What is the heart behind this story or teaching in the Bible, and how have people in my life lived in accordance with the heart of these verses?” These relationships encourage me to ask critical questions of how we live out our faith and appreciate our families' faithfulness. 

Was it difficult to find a church space that was welcoming of the both of you, with your unique cultural backgrounds and experiences?

Andrea: One of the things we wanted in a church was the value of diversity, which can be hard to find, especially in Minnesota. It is common to find places that have a few people of different races attending, but that's very different from a community that purposefully uplifts and values different cultures. It’s taken some searching, but we’re thankful to have both been part of church communities that are working to do this. 

What challenges to belonging have you encountered in Christian spaces? Have you encountered postures or practices in non-Christian spaces that more Christians might apply to their churches and ministries?

Jairus: I don't think I've ever been purposefully slighted or mistreated in either space, but I've had some awkward conversations in both spaces (I remember someone at church asking me about the color of my dandruff out of pure curiosity). A lot of assumptions can be made (“How was Diwali?” or “Did you do something for this or that Indian holiday?”), and it's kind of embarrassing for me to admit how “not Indian” I am as someone who was raised in the U.S. 

Andrea: As a White person who grew up in a very stereotypical "American" house, there were very few spaces where I didn’t feel like I belonged. 

I think some non-Christian spaces are getting better at valuing diversity in a way that's more than just performative, and Christian churches could learn from these approaches of teaching people how to view and talk about cultural differences. Many people don't even have the language to begin talking about diversity. It can feel hard to know how much culture we can bring into church, because some Christians like to emphasize that we're all one in Christ without recognizing that there are cultural differences that make up that one-ness. 

In the Bible, I see a God who deeply values cultural expression and connection. Holding our identity in Christ as our highest and truest identity doesn't mean that culture doesn't matter at all. I think churches that don't equip their people to celebrate diversity (in all ways, including cultural and social and neurological diversity) are missing out on the fullness of God's kingdom and character. 

What advice and encouragement can you share for mixed families who are navigating how to honor and celebrate their own heritages while creating a unique family of their own?

Andrea: Pay attention to the cultural traditions that are important to you and include them in spaces and celebrations. The only right way to do it is what works for you — celebrating your heritage doesn't have to look the same as it did for your parents. I'm thankful I grew up with a knowledge of and connection to my cultural heritage, so I look for ways to put that in our lives. 

What advice do you have for how the church might best love and serve mixed people and families?

Jairus: Be patient and give people space to make mistakes and figure things out. I think grace and communication are the two greatest pieces of bringing different cultures together. 

Photo by Jasmine Carter

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Andrea is a museum educator and oral historian passionate about connecting people with stories and each other. She equally loves summer sunshine and a good snowstorm, and could never live too far from a body of water. In her free time, she likes to read, bake, eat chocolate, and spend time outside. 

Jairus is an engineer that does R&D for a 3D printing company. He has a passion for the outdoors, forming new relationships, playing sports and most anything tech related. Currently, he's working on building a new computer, learning more about cooking by avidly watching Master Chef and the Great British Bake Off, and trying to find time for naps.